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How pastor, wife settled marriage failure after bitter infidelity

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By Bayonle Adegbola.

Issues of marital obligations have remained topical in the discourse of marriage relationship. Failure of either of the parties contracted in a marriage or some instances both parties, have constituted grounds for which bitter but enticing stories have become rife. However, these subjects have formed instances for which marriage counselors have extracted citations for teachings and counselling.

Obligations in this regard may span across facets of the marriage including obligations of various responsibilities to marital conjugations. The stories of failure of commitment to marital consummation have been of deep sides that in extreme cases have led to collapse of some marriages.

One mild case of such lag in commitment is the narratives of a man, Sunday Adeyemi (not real name). Adeyemi who happened to be a pastor married a banker as wife  and they lived in Ogun State, Ifo Local Government Area, South West of Nigeria. His wife who used to go out in the morning comes back in the night all in the name of bank work. Bank work was also the excuse for not performing her kitchen duty, at the same time denying her husband (pastor) sex all the while.

It was said that when the man would tell his banker wife to let them make love as husband and wife that they are, she would insist no to sex with him.

Meanwhile, they employed a female house help who would go about doing the house work for them and be paid for it.

As time went on, the pastor who couldn’t continue with that situation anymore in his home decided to call this house help one day and narrated the way his banker wife had been treating him by not giving him bedroom attention most time in the home.

When the female house help listened to the ordeal, she felt sorry for him and along the line, she entered a secret affair with her without his wife knowing.

One day, his banker wife left for work in the morning of that day, but forgot something at home which she came back to pick. Upon getting into the room, their matrimonial home, she caught her husband, the pastor having sexual intercourse with the house help.

Immediately, she paid her off and sacked her. After that, they began to live on as man and his wife and the man suspected his wife would use it against him, so he humbly apologised for his infidelity over times.

While begging her for forgiveness, the woman said no, it was all her fault.  From that moment, she turned a new leaf in her matrimonial home by attending to her  husband’s needs in the bed and other house chores.

They chose not to make an ugly scene from the incident but solved the problem between themselves with counsellors. Both parties learnt from their failures and adjusted and are still living happily till today.

On the part of the wife, her words was “it is a foolish wife who destroys her home with her hand while the wise one keeps it safe against destruction.”

From the husband, his part is to show much commitment in love to sustain the marriage, while closing his eyes from temptations driven by caution and discipline.

True Life Story

A Pastor’s story of redemption: How infidelity unveiled hidden truths and restored harmony

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In a community in Ogun State, a Pastor named Adeyemi and his banker wife embarked on a journey fraught with challenges, yet fueled by love and redemption.

As the dawn broke each day, Adeyemi’s wife, dedicated to her banking career, would immerse herself in work, leaving behind a trail of neglect in her household duties and marital intimacy.

Despite the Pastor’s pleas for affection, his wife remained steadfast in her distance, citing the demands of her profession.

In their midst stood a young house help, a silent witness to their domestic turmoil.

In a moment of vulnerability, Adeyemi confided in her, revealing the void in his marriage. Moved by empathy, the house help offered solace, igniting a clandestine affair.

One fateful day, fate intervened as Adeyemi’s wife returned home unexpectedly, stumbling upon the clandestine rendezvous.

Shocked and aggrieved, she swiftly dismissed the house help, confronting her husband with betrayal writ large.

In the aftermath of this revelation, a reckoning ensued. Stripped bare of pretense, husband and wife confronted their demons, laying bare the fractures in their union.

In an exchange, forgiveness blossomed, as each acknowledged their role in the unraveling of their marriage.

From the ashes of deceit arose a newfound commitment, as husband and wife embarked on a journey of reconciliation.

With humility and grace, they nurtured their bond, fostering a home filled with love, understanding, and mutual respect.

Their story, shrouded in secrecy, emphasised the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of forgiveness.

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True Life Story

From Okada rider to first-class graduate: Hezekiah’s inspiring journey

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Toyinbo Hezekiah’s story is one of determination and resilience. Toyinbo is 30 years old, he hails from Igude village in Ogun State, Nigeria.

Despite the weight of financial burden and the grind of unconventional work, Toyinbo clings steadfastly to a singular dream: the pursuit of higher education. With each brick laid and every mile traversed on his motorcycle, Toyinbo’s determination burns brighter, illuminating the path towards his ultimate goal – to grasp the coveted title of graduate.

When he started his degree in Animal Breeding and Genetics at the Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta, he didn’t aim for top grades. His main goal was to earn his degree.

However, his journey took an unexpected turn when he achieved a GPA of 5.0 in his third year. This success opened his eyes to the possibility of graduating with first-class honors.

Throughout his academic journey, Toyinbo’s passion for learning never wavered. From excelling in primary school to navigating challenges in secondary school, he remained focused on his goals. Despite growing up in a farming-focused village where education wasn’t emphasised, Toyinbo’s determination to succeed propelled him forward.

During his university years, Toyinbo faced numerous challenges, including financial hardships and balancing work with studies. While his classmates relied on support from family and friends, Toyinbo had to borrow money to pay for his exams and immediately start working to repay his debts.

Despite these obstacles, Toyinbo’s dedication paid off. He graduated as the top student in his department with a first-class honours degree, achieving a remarkable GPA of 4.55.

However, the recognition he received during convocation was minimal, leaving him feeling unsatisfied.

Reflecting on his journey, Toyinbo remains optimistic about the future. He has already immersed himself in farm work, rearing various breeds of chickens and providing free consultation to aspiring farmers.

His ultimate goal is to further his education and become a professor specializing in animal science and research.

When asked about his advice for underprivileged individuals aspiring to continue their studies, Toyinbo emphasised taking initiative and starting with what they have. He believes that with determination and trustworthiness, anyone can change their story, just as he did.

Toyinbo’s story is didactical, as it emphasises the need for perseverance and hard work, even the most unlikely dreams can become a reality.

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From Nigeria to Australia: A journey of resilience and reinvention

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Leaving Nigeria behind was a monumental decision, one that altered the course of my life forever. Even with a comfortable salary and years under my belt, I took the leap, knowing that the grass might just be greener elsewhere.

The initial months in Australia were anything but easy. Despite my efforts to secure an accounting job, rejection letters flooded my inbox, highlighting my lack of Australian experience and certifications. It was a tough pill to swallow, especially for someone accustomed to professional success.

Yet, amid the turmoil, my wife emerged as my unwavering rock, shouldering our financial burdens single-handedly. As an Igbo man, the notion of relying on my wife for sustenance struck at the core of my identity, nearly plunging me into despair.

Determined not to succumb to defeat, I pivoted my approach. Embracing versatility, I enrolled in a forklift training program, swiftly obtaining my license. But I didn’t stop there. Armed with a newfound resolve, I pursued certifications in disability support work, expanding my skill set exponentially.

Transitioning to warehouse employment was a pragmatic move, albeit temporary. While it didn’t fulfill my ultimate career aspirations, it provided stability in uncertain times. In Australia, opportunities abound for individuals of all ages, fostering a culture of inclusivity and productivity.

However, amidst the allure of order and security, nostalgia for Nigeria lingered. The opulent displays of authority, once commonplace, were replaced by a more egalitarian ethos. Here, respect for the law reigned supreme, contrasting sharply with the pervasive corruption back home.

Health and well-being underwent a remarkable transformation as well. Escaping the clutches of recurrent malaria, I marveled at the absence of illness in my new environment. Even my children thrived academically, flourishing in a system that prioritised excellence.

In hindsight, the decision to migrate was unequivocally the right one. Despite the trials and tribulations, the dividends reaped in terms of quality of life and financial stability outweighed any hardships endured.

As I reflect on my journey, I’m acutely aware of the toll migration can exact on familial bonds. The specter of divorce looms ominously, a testament to the complex interplay of cultural adaptation and interpersonal dynamics.

My story serves as a testament to the transformative power of resilience and reinvention. For those contemplating a similar path, heed this advice: seize the opportunity for a better life, but tread carefully, for the road ahead is fraught with challenges and unforeseen consequences.

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