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The disappearing act: How my husband changed after marriage

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A few months ago, I married my husband after dating for a while. During our courtship, he was always smiling and seemed very close to his siblings. He showered me with affection and care, even before I had to ask for it. I was overwhelmed by the love he showed me and believed he would make a wonderful husband.

However, things changed drastically after our wedding. My husband became distant, spending most of his time alone and appearing disinterested in our conversations.

He would come home, eat, and go straight to bed without much interaction. The only time he seemed happy was when we were intimate. I asked him if I had done something to upset him, but he assured me it was the pressure of providing for our new family that was affecting him.

I never played hard to get during our courtship, so I am unsure why he has changed so much. Additionally, I have noticed some qualities in him that I never saw before we got married.

I once jokingly mentioned that he had changed, and he admitted that he had tried so hard to give me everything I wanted because he didn’t want to lose me, as I am a pretty girl. Now that we are married, it feels like our relationship has changed.

My partner no longer puts in the same effort as before, and I can’t help but question if their love for me has diminished. I wonder if they only married me because of external pressures, like their age or their parents’ expectations.

Lately, my partner has been snappy with me, which is a behaviour I haven’t seen before. It’s as if there is a barrier between us that I can’t seem to break through. Being at home with them leaves me feeling depressed and disconnected. I apologize for any confusion in my previous message. I’m just unsure if this is what marriage is supposed to be like.

If any married individuals have experienced something similar, I would appreciate any advice or insight to help me adjust my mindset to this new change because everything now looks as if I am a total stranger married to myself.

It’s so surprising to witness the defiant act of my husband. It was this act that made me believe the saying that anybody can change if they are not committed in a relationship. But, I still have trust that God always knows the best.

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True Life Story

From Okada rider to first-class graduate: Hezekiah’s inspiring journey

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Toyinbo Hezekiah’s story is one of determination and resilience. Toyinbo is 30 years old, he hails from Igude village in Ogun State, Nigeria.

Despite the weight of financial burden and the grind of unconventional work, Toyinbo clings steadfastly to a singular dream: the pursuit of higher education. With each brick laid and every mile traversed on his motorcycle, Toyinbo’s determination burns brighter, illuminating the path towards his ultimate goal – to grasp the coveted title of graduate.

When he started his degree in Animal Breeding and Genetics at the Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta, he didn’t aim for top grades. His main goal was to earn his degree.

However, his journey took an unexpected turn when he achieved a GPA of 5.0 in his third year. This success opened his eyes to the possibility of graduating with first-class honors.

Throughout his academic journey, Toyinbo’s passion for learning never wavered. From excelling in primary school to navigating challenges in secondary school, he remained focused on his goals. Despite growing up in a farming-focused village where education wasn’t emphasised, Toyinbo’s determination to succeed propelled him forward.

During his university years, Toyinbo faced numerous challenges, including financial hardships and balancing work with studies. While his classmates relied on support from family and friends, Toyinbo had to borrow money to pay for his exams and immediately start working to repay his debts.

Despite these obstacles, Toyinbo’s dedication paid off. He graduated as the top student in his department with a first-class honours degree, achieving a remarkable GPA of 4.55.

However, the recognition he received during convocation was minimal, leaving him feeling unsatisfied.

Reflecting on his journey, Toyinbo remains optimistic about the future. He has already immersed himself in farm work, rearing various breeds of chickens and providing free consultation to aspiring farmers.

His ultimate goal is to further his education and become a professor specializing in animal science and research.

When asked about his advice for underprivileged individuals aspiring to continue their studies, Toyinbo emphasised taking initiative and starting with what they have. He believes that with determination and trustworthiness, anyone can change their story, just as he did.

Toyinbo’s story is didactical, as it emphasises the need for perseverance and hard work, even the most unlikely dreams can become a reality.

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From Nigeria to Australia: A journey of resilience and reinvention

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Leaving Nigeria behind was a monumental decision, one that altered the course of my life forever. Even with a comfortable salary and years under my belt, I took the leap, knowing that the grass might just be greener elsewhere.

The initial months in Australia were anything but easy. Despite my efforts to secure an accounting job, rejection letters flooded my inbox, highlighting my lack of Australian experience and certifications. It was a tough pill to swallow, especially for someone accustomed to professional success.

Yet, amid the turmoil, my wife emerged as my unwavering rock, shouldering our financial burdens single-handedly. As an Igbo man, the notion of relying on my wife for sustenance struck at the core of my identity, nearly plunging me into despair.

Determined not to succumb to defeat, I pivoted my approach. Embracing versatility, I enrolled in a forklift training program, swiftly obtaining my license. But I didn’t stop there. Armed with a newfound resolve, I pursued certifications in disability support work, expanding my skill set exponentially.

Transitioning to warehouse employment was a pragmatic move, albeit temporary. While it didn’t fulfill my ultimate career aspirations, it provided stability in uncertain times. In Australia, opportunities abound for individuals of all ages, fostering a culture of inclusivity and productivity.

However, amidst the allure of order and security, nostalgia for Nigeria lingered. The opulent displays of authority, once commonplace, were replaced by a more egalitarian ethos. Here, respect for the law reigned supreme, contrasting sharply with the pervasive corruption back home.

Health and well-being underwent a remarkable transformation as well. Escaping the clutches of recurrent malaria, I marveled at the absence of illness in my new environment. Even my children thrived academically, flourishing in a system that prioritised excellence.

In hindsight, the decision to migrate was unequivocally the right one. Despite the trials and tribulations, the dividends reaped in terms of quality of life and financial stability outweighed any hardships endured.

As I reflect on my journey, I’m acutely aware of the toll migration can exact on familial bonds. The specter of divorce looms ominously, a testament to the complex interplay of cultural adaptation and interpersonal dynamics.

My story serves as a testament to the transformative power of resilience and reinvention. For those contemplating a similar path, heed this advice: seize the opportunity for a better life, but tread carefully, for the road ahead is fraught with challenges and unforeseen consequences.

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True Life Story

Finding hope in despair: Nancy’s story of perseverance and redemption

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In the wake of her father’s untimely demise when she was just nine years old, Nancy’s life took a challenging turn.

Her mother, facing financial hardships, struggled to pay for Nancy’s education, eventually leading her to enroll in a public school in Alimosho Local Government.

Despite the adversity, Nancy remained diligent, excelling in her studies throughout her academic journey.

Her determination and hard work paid off as she secured admission to the prestigious University of Ilorin to pursue a degree in Medicine & Surgery.

However, the financial burden remained a constant obstacle, with her single mother barely able to make ends meet. Undeterred, Nancy took matters into her own hands, juggling multiple jobs and even resorting to borrowing loans to fund her education.

Tragedy struck again during Nancy’s final year at medical school with the passing of her beloved mother, leaving her devastated.

Despite the emotional turmoil, Nancy persevered, determined to complete her education. It was during this challenging time that she crossed paths with Daniel, who offered to support her financially.

Initially grateful for Daniel’s assistance, Nancy soon found herself trapped in a toxic relationship. Daniel’s controlling behavior escalated, and Nancy found herself coerced into unwanted physical intimacy.

Despite the turmoil, Nancy completed her studies and returned to Lagos to start afresh.

Her resilience and determination caught the attention of Mr. Nnamdi, who saw beyond her past hardships and recognised her potential.

Initially hesitant to trust again, Nancy eventually opened her heart to Mr. Nnamdi, and their relationship blossomed into marriage.

Today, Nancy’s story serves as a testament to the power of perseverance and resilience in the face of adversity.

From humble beginnings to owning her businesses and three cars, Nancy’s journey is a true inspiration, proving that with grit and determination, one can overcome even the greatest of challenges.

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