Emmanuel’s journey: Facing anxiety and breaking the silence on men’s mental health
By Suliyat Bello
When 23-year-old university graduate Emmanuel smiles at strangers, it is impossible to imagine the storm brewing behind his eyes.
To his neighbours in Lagos, he is the bright young man full of promise, polite and polite, with the world seemingly at his feet. Yet behind closed doors, Emmanuel wrestles daily with anxiety and depression—a battle he never expected to face at such a young age.
His struggles began in the final year of university. The pressure to excel, uncertainty about finding a job, and the weight of his family’s financial burdens became unbearable. Slowly, he withdrew from friends, stopped attending classes, and lost interest in the things he once loved.
Night brought little relief; sleep was elusive as his mind spiralled with fears of failure and disappointment.
“I felt like I was drowning,” he recalls quietly, “trapped in expectations I could not meet.”
His family, like many in Nigeria, thought that prayer or sheer determination could solve emotional suffering.
They urged him to be strong, reminding him that “men are not supposed to be weak.” Their words, though meant to comfort, only deepened his silence and shame.
The turning point came unexpectedly. During a job interview, Emmanuel experienced a crippling panic attack. He fled the room, gasping for air, humiliated and terrified. It was a female counsellor at the firm who noticed his distress and gently urged him to seek support instead of blaming himself.
Reluctantly, Emmanuel visited a local mental health clinic. There, he learned that anxiety and depression were not signs of weakness but real, treatable conditions that affect millions worldwide. With therapy, counselling, and practical coping strategies, he slowly began to reclaim control over his life.
Healing, he admits, has been neither quick nor easy. Emmanuel now attends counselling sessions twice a month and talks openly with close friends about his journey.
Though the anxiety has not disappeared entirely, he no longer hides from it. He hopes that by sharing his story, other young men might find the courage to speak before their struggles become unbearable.
For Emmanuel, every day is a step forward. He dreams of a future where young people can ask for help without fear or shame. He believes true strength lies not in pretending to be okay, but in acknowledging pain and taking the first steps toward healing.