Darling

By Ayiyi Joel

All of my fears combined/taught me to run and hide
                                                           —girl in red

I could tell you to let the mask fall off,

come out into the blinding rays with all that your
face holds,

only if I wasn’t playacting myself. If I knew about 
all the raging

storms the sea of your body keeps bottled away 
from the shores.

Though there’s nothing like birdsong at noon at a 
countryside 

home. Talk grasses, blazing red & yellow and pink 
Petals.

Though there’s the azure skies with cloud shaped 
like animals.

The greens bowing in the soft breeze of the 
afternoon heat.

But you know that for beauty to break through the 
threshold 

of the eyes, there must be the spark of life brewing 
in the body.

Though we fall & break each time a loved one 
leaves again.

Though we rehearse being alright because we do 
not want to hurt

The ones we hold with our hurt. We refuse to gift 
our ache

at each ask. But you should know, baby, we deserve
to lose

ourselves. To just dance & dance & dance & dance 
& dance 

until everything spins and the laughter rolls out and 
drown

the music out. To laugh so hard that tears squeezes 
through

The sides of the eyes. Soaked lashes. Heavy lids.
There’s so much grief in the world that you could 

Only become your own sweet song in the face of 
your suffering.

You should come out of the room, boy. There’s the 
City-

Lights, loud and begging for your eyes. Girl in red’s 
If I Could Make 

It Go Quiet will be there tomorrow. On the bus
There you will find your kin.



Bio:
Ayiyi Joel, TPC XVI, is a young budding poet from Edo State in Nigeria. A Best Of The Net Nominee. Winner of the Shuzia Epiphany poetry competition. He can be reached on Instagram @Ayiyi Joel and on X @Joe-Xi Mao