When family values clash with personal desires

I want to share my heartbreaking story as a warning to others: never let your parents choose your partner for you. Even if it means running away, do it. I was pressured into marrying a girl I didn’t love.

My uncle took me to see her in the village and we spoke, but I knew she wasn’t the one for me.

When I returned to the city, I told my mother I wasn’t interested, but she insisted that I marry her. My mother would constantly bring up the girl, even when I was happy.

I begged her to let me marry someone I truly loved, but she wouldn’t listen. I loved my mother and didn’t want to disappoint her, but I also knew I couldn’t marry someone I didn’t love. I tried to reason with my mother, even bringing in my elder brother to talk to her, but she wouldn’t budge.

She had high blood pressure and stopped taking her medication, using it as a way to guilt me into marrying the girl. I was torn between my love for my mother and my desire to marry someone I loved.

Eventually, I gave in and married the girl, but I made it clear to her that I didn’t love her and was only marrying her because of my mother’s pressure. The marriage was a disaster. I couldn’t bring myself to love her and she could sense it.

She tried to make it work, but I couldn’t force myself to feel something that wasn’t there. It was a painful experience for both of us. Looking back, I regret not standing up for myself and marrying someone I truly loved.

We got married. She lives with me and my mom. Even my neighbours were disappointed in me, when they saw her. Church members and friends were all disappointed. I can’t start narrating to them how I got here.

We are over a year gone now and she still irritates me. I so much hate to look at her. We’ve had sex only about 5 times or so and I have to get high to do this. I only kissed her once (at the altar and I cringed).

I cry everyday both at home and while hustling. I never envisaged my life to be like this. I had hoped to meet a beautiful, clean and well mannered graduate from the city. Someone I would truly love and she would love me too. I’d hoped that I would meet her, approach her and we would start as friends, then lovers, then I would propose and all. I never planned for it to be like this.

I am so sad with my life. Right now, I’m thinking of applying for masters abroad and probably use the means to Japa and never come back again.

My life is so miserable! I hope my story serves as a warning to others to never let anyone else choose your partner for you. Love is a personal choice and should never be forced.

Learn from me. Don’t ever let your parents blackmail you into marrying someone you don’t love. Pls don’t. Just run away for months or a few years and they will leave you alone.