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My wife left me for another woman!

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I was once married; married to a beautiful woman. She is an architect and she comes from a well-to-do home.

We met in London some twenty-five years back but did not start dating until we ran into each other at a family friend’s wedding, here in Abuja. It wasn’t love at first sight; she was weird, so I was cautious.

I say ‘weird’ because she just never did things that women generally did and I think that must have been what endeared her to me. She was not frivolous, didn’t like makeup, wore her hair natural, kept her fingers short and nail polish free.

I liked that about her. She wasn’t a tomboy, no, she was still very much a woman, just one who didn’t bow to conventions. She enjoyed robust intellectual debates  you know, stuff like that.

Gradually and because we moved in the same circles, we became friends then from friends, we became lovers and then decided to get married.

We have a handsome 14-year-old son to show for this.

I am not an architect but I studied Town Planning, so give or take, you know we will generally have the same circle of professional colleagues, move in the same large circle because we share the same passion.

I had no reason to think there would be any problem with my marriage until  five years ago after we had been married for 16 years.

My wife took a keen interest in one lady we met at a dinner. This lady is not a Nigerian, she is Ghanaian, an exRoseriate staff of a multinational here in Lagos. She is the sort of woman I may have had an affair with if I wasn’t in love with my wife. She is nothing like my wife. Rose, that’s her name is petite, whereas my wife is tall and dark. Rose is feminine; she wears makeup, she wears wigs, nail polish, all the womanly stuff.

I was at first surprised at their friendship because, these two were total opposites. I didn’t get it at all. But they became almost inseparable after just like three months or thereabout. Rose moved into our guest room, because she said the apartment her company rented for her was being renovated, though a hotel had been got for her but my wife invited her to stay with us. It was no problem since our son is in the boarding house.

No problem. I like Rose, not romantically but for the fact that she was good company to my wife.  Rose had very strong opinions about men, you know those women who think all men are idiots, yes, she was that type but on the whole, she was generally a fun person.

With Rose around, I didn’t feel guilty about leaving my wife at home most nights to hang out with the boys since there was someone with her. So, it was a win-win situation for all three of us.

But I was the one who began to lose-lose. Many weekends, they would have planned one outing or planned to do one thing or another excluding me. I didn’t think much of it at first, after all, I spent many evenings with the boys, so no biggie but after a while, I began to feel they were deliberately leaving me out.

Planned trips to Tarkwa Bay, planned weekends to Abeokuta, planned parties with friends that I also knew… my wife would say she thought I had other plans. I became the third party in our marriage instead of Rose.

But you see, I didn’t help myself. There were series of things that should have alarmed me but I didn’t see the signals. Like one day, when I came back late, I found them on the couch; both half naked. I assumed they had both taken a bath and changed into their nighties after the day’s work and had fallen asleep in front of the TV. Nighties can be flimsy; you know; I didn’t think it odd.

On another occasion, I could have sworn they were kissing in the kitchen but it was a hug I caught them giving each other. I joked that day that they should have called me to be part of the hug, a group hug.

They didn’t find it funny of course.

One night, a little after midnight, my wife left our room to go to Rose’s room and she was there till the next morning. When I asked, she said Rose was having a hard time and needed a shoulder to cry on.

I was there like mumu and they were busy making love.

But to be fair to me, even if I wanted to think it odd, my wife had never given me any reason to suspect she was gay.

We both don’t have anything against people being gay, we have a few friends who are gay, so… really, you get me? I just didn’t see this train coming.

Then seven, maybe eight months after Rose left our apartment; yes, she stayed with us for one month but even after she left, my wife was either visiting her or she was at our place or we jam one way or another. Anyway, one day, my wife said she was leaving me.

No fight, no trouble, just that she didn’t love me anymore and wants to move in with Rose. Just like that!

I swear my dear, even then, I had no inkling as to the true picture, they say ‘the wife’s always the last to know.’ I was the ‘wife’ in this situation. My wife had the decency to tell me she had been having an affair with Rose right under my nose and she was moving in with her.

I was stunned. You mean I accommodated your lover under my roof?

You mean you are leaving me for a woman? You mean all of the 15years of marriage is now down the drain?You mean you’ve been gay and you kept it from me? I hated her! I hated her for the lie, the persistent lie. I hated her for leaving me and our son. (today we share custody of the boy).

I hated that I didn’t even see this coming. I hated that my friends knew, everyone in our so called circle knew about their relationship, I was the only one who didn’t see it!

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Eid-el-Kabir: Atiku preaches sacrifice, love, peace

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Former Vice President Atiku Abubakar, has called on Nigerians to use the occasion of this year Eid-el-Kabir  to demonstrate sacrifice, love and peace.

Abubakar in a statement by his media office on Saturday in Abuja, congratulated fellow Muslim faithful on the celebration of this year’s Eid-el-Kabir festival.

He said that the celebration of Eid, as stated in the scriptures, was not merely a fanfare but an admonition to the people to have forbearance and show compassion in every situation.

“The message of Eid al-Adha is to remind ourselves about the commandment of God to show love to one another and uphold peaceful interpersonal relationships.

“The essential purpose of that message is that we must put our trust in God almighty at all times.

“Even in the face of current hard times that many Nigerians are passing through, we must never fail to put trust in God and, more importantly, extend compassion and safety to the vulnerable people around us.

“This means that as we go about celebrating today, we must ensure that we extend good tidings of support and charity to one another, especially those in difficulties,”he said.

The former vice president called on governments at all levels to be deliberate in initiating measures that will ease the hardship confronting Nigerians .

“As we know that the essence of the celebration today is about a restoration of God’s mercy, it is thus incumbent on government at all levels to take a cue from the divine instruction,” he said.

He  reminded Muslims in Nigeria and across the world to remember their responsibility of being good ambassadors of the religion by living their lives according to the practices and teachings of the noble Prophet Muhammad (SAW).

“The festivities that we are undertaking today is borne out of the obedience of Prophet Ibrahim and as also exemplified by Prophet Muhammad (SAW).

“ It is thus our responsibility as Muslims to reflect on their examples in our lives by upholding the threshold of peace at all times, “AbubKar also added.

He wished every Muslim family a happy Eid celebration and prayed for God’s protection and safety for everyone during and after the celebration.

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Eid-el Kabir: VP prays for peace, bumper harvest 

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The Vice President, Alhaji Kashim Shettima, has joined other Muslim faithful to observe the Eid-el Kabir prayer in Maiduguri.

Shettima, who spoke briefly after the prayers, prayed for peace and bumper harvest this cropping season.

“We urge Nigerians to pray for peace and prosperity in the land.

“We have to cultivate peace; there can never be development without peace.

“This is the farming season, we also need to pray for bumper harvest, ” Kashim said.

In his message, the Borno Acting Governor, Alhaji Umar Kadafur, also prayed for peaceful coexistence and the need to pray for the nation.

“May Allah accept our prayers and that of our people in the Holy land,” he said.

He thanked the people of Borno for their sustained support to the government, and assured them of quality leadership.

Kadafur also thanked the Vice President  for coming home to identify with his people in Borno, and wished him a safe trip back to Abuja.

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Eid-el-Kabir: COAS hails troops’ gallantry, sacrifice

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The Chief of Army Staff (COAS), Lt.-Gen. Taoreed Lagbaja, has commended troops of the Nigerian Army for their commitment and gallantry in confronting the security challenges and threats in the country.

Lagbaja gave the commendation on Sunday in Abuja, in his goodwill message to the troops and their families on the occasion of the Eid-el-Kabir celebration.

He described the Eid-el-Kabir as a significant festival depicting the important place of sacrifice in humanity and divinity.

The COAS said the 2024 Eid-el-Kabir celebration was also remarkable, as it coincided with the completion of his first year in office as the 23rd Chief of Army Staff.

He expressed gratitude to God for the gift of life and the relative peace restored in many troubled parts of the country.

He acknowledged the enormous sacrifice made by the army, both in human and logistics resources, in the ongoing battle against terrorism, insurgency, banditry, secessionist agitations and sundry crimes.

Lagbaja said the troops had displayed unalloyed loyalty, extraordinary courage and faith in the nation, thereby, emerging victorious in the face of grave danger.

He added that many of them currently bore the badge of courage and bravery in the form of battle scars and injuries, while others carried the memories and stories of their sacrifices for the country.

The COAS enjoined all Nigerians to show collective understanding and support for the government’s efforts to implement necessary reforms to restore economic prosperity.

He also urged all personnel and their families to renew their commitment to selflessness and patriotism for the growth and development of the country.

The army chief, however, reaffirmed his dedication to providing visionary and inclusive leadership needed for effective training, robust living standards and operational effectiveness.

He expressed profound appreciation to President Bola Tinubu, for his unflinching support and leadership.

Lagbaja also extended appreciation to the National Assembly, Minister of Defence, the Minister of State for Defence and the Chief of Defence Staff, for their strategic guidance.

He lauded Nigerians and the international community for their continuous support and belief in the Nigerian Army.

According to him, the Nigerian Army looks forward to continued collaboration to end security challenges and create an enabling environment for economic prosperity and other democratic dividends.

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