Man shares harrowing journey of escape from persecution
Olatunde Olusegun Joel, a 46-year-old Nigerian man, has shared a heart-wrenching story of his struggles with identity, love, and survival in a society where same-sex relationships are considered illegal and morally taboo. His story, one of secrecy, betrayal, and escape, highlights the risks faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in Nigeria, particularly in light of the nation’s strict anti-gay laws and societal pressures.
Born in Lagos, Nigeria, on December 27, 1977, Joel grew up in a family of seven children. He was the firstborn son in a household that has since been marked by tragedy, with the loss of one of his brothers at a young age. From a young age, Joel felt different, sensing an attraction to the same sex, a feeling that he couldn’t fully understand at the time. “I always knew I was different, smarter, and that people would gravitate towards me,” he said.
As a teenager, Joel’s growing awareness of his sexuality became a source of inner turmoil. He struggled to suppress these feelings, fearful of being discovered and rejected by those around him. The passage of the ‘Same-Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Bill’ in 2011, which criminalised same-sex unions and even the mere display of affection between same-sex couples, further deepened his fear. With the law imposing harsh penalties, including 14 years in prison for anyone engaging in or aiding same-sex marriages, Joel knew that his feelings could cost him everything.
In 2003, while serving in the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), Joel met John Akinola, a fellow course mate. Their bond was instant, and soon after, a secret love affair blossomed between them. John, however, was married, and their relationship had to remain hidden, even from their respective families. Despite the intense attraction they shared, both men were aware of the risks involved.
“I remember the fear, always looking over my shoulder, hoping no one would find out. The consequences were too great to even imagine,” Joel recalled.
In 2009, Joel married a woman, hoping to fulfil societal expectations and avoid suspicion. But his secret relationship with John continued in the shadows. Over time, his wife began to suspect something was wrong. Eventually, she discovered the affair, and the couple separated. Joel’s wife left with their two sons, and Joel was left to confront the devastating consequences of his hidden life. His family’s struggle to understand his sexuality, combined with the societal stigma, made the separation even more painful.
The situation worsened when John’s wife discovered the affair and filed for divorce. The fallout from the secret relationship was profound, leaving both men vulnerable to the judgement and hostility of their communities.
Then, in 2023, Joel’s life took a terrifying turn. His home was burglarized, and his international passport, along with other vital documents, were stolen. On April 13, 2023, Joel received a chilling message from John that simply read, “Run for your life.” The fear was immediate, as Joel feared for his safety.
“I knew the people who were after me were not just after John, they were after both of us. The danger was real,” he said.
Shortly after the message, John was murdered. The police investigation revealed that John had been killed, but the perpetrators remain at large. Joel’s own life was now in jeopardy. He was attacked by a gang of masked men wielding dangerous weapons, but narrowly escaped with his life. In a desperate bid to protect himself, Joel and his children were relocated to an undisclosed location.
Amid the chaos, Joel found hope when he received approval for a Canadian visa. Desperate to flee Nigeria’s hostile environment, he has been looking for a way to relocate permanently, not just for his safety but for the opportunity to live as his true self, free from fear and persecution.
Canada, known for its progressive stance on LGBTQ+ rights and its welcoming approach to asylum seekers, has become a beacon of hope for Joel. “I believe Canada is the place where I can finally be myself, without the constant fear of being persecuted or rejected,” he said.
Joel’s journey to escape Nigeria and seek asylum in Canada is far from over. While he continues to fight for his own freedom, he is also speaking out for others who, like him, live in fear of their identities being exposed. His story underscores the urgent need for stronger protections and rights for LGBTQ+ individuals in countries where discrimination and violence against them are widespread.
“I hope one day I will find a place where I can be myself, without fear of persecution or rejection. Until then, I will continue to fight for my right to live freely, and for the right of others like me,” Joel said with resolve.
As Joel prepares for his departure, he remains determined to keep his family safe and to continue advocating for LGBTQ+ rights in his home country. His hope is that his story will inspire others to stand up for their own rights, no matter the personal cost.
