Bankole Taiwo, Abeokuta
A Professor of Health Education and Promotion and the Deputy Vice Chancellor of Tai Solarin University of Education (TASUED) Ijagun, Ogun State, Professor Adekunle Olanrewaju Adeogun has expressed worry over the rush to go abroad to seek for greener pastures fondly called ‘Japa’ saying that this syndrome causes lot of disarticulation in the family while it is also responsible for increased marital divorce in Nigeria.
Prof Adeogun raised the alarm while delivering the 15th inaugural lecture of the institution held recently with the theme “Raging Cases of Marital Divorce And Dysfunctional Home In Society : Health Education To The Rescue”
“Japa’ which means ‘to flee’ is the word Nigerians of Southwest extraction usually use to describe the rush by the people to relocate abroad in search of greener pastures.
The Deputy Vice Chancellor has however warned couples most especially, the young ones jumping on the bandwagon of seeking for greener pastures abroad of the implication inherent in leaving their families behind
He explained that long distance relationships tends to destroy marriages because one partner might be feeling lonely and the unavailability of the other partner might push the party concerned to commit adultery or infidelity.
“Long distance relationships can lead to loneliness, wrong assumption, distrust, lack of parental care for the children and the family generally”, Adeogun revealed.
He stated that the prevalence and pattern of marital divorce in this century is worrisome thereby making researchers interested in looking for the remote causes of this pandemic.
He noted that 11 people out of 1,000 of the total population in Nigeria is facing marital divorce, while attributing lack of trust, absence of genuine love, pretense and falsehood as some of the issues that leads to collapse in marriages.
Prof. Adeogun further traced the scourge of divorce to the fact that most people married due to the benefits, prestige, fame, comfort, and material things they stand to gain from the marriage rather than love which should be the bedrock of every successful marriage.
While quoting relevant researchers, Adeogun disclosed that moral laxity-related issues, adultery, power struggles within spouses, impotence, infertility due to increased rate of infection transmission, influence of bad friends, poverty among others are some of the issues that fuel marital divorce.
Speaking further, he observed that no marriage is immune from crisis but the determination to surmount challenges is what makes a marriage stand the test of time.
“A happy home that escapes divorce is a result of both partners’ selfless dedication to their marriage which is achieved by deliberate efforts from both parties at a quick resolution of issues. No matter the efforts made by a partner towards having a happy home, it can only be achieved if the other partner consent to building it”, he added.
The Health Education and Promotion expert also opined that for a marriage to be successful, one of the parties concerned should exhibit a high level of maturity, he, therefore suggested that the husband must be older than his wife, knowledgeable, and financially stable.
On the issue of single parenting, Adeogun called on religious leaders, health educators, sociologists, educationists, counselors, and the government to take a critical look at the spate of single parenting due to divorce.
The Inaugural lecturer stressed that children raised in single parenting may become maladjusted, and have low self-esteem later in the future as it is difficult for a single parent to perform the roles of both parents.
Prof. Adeogun highlighted some causes of marital conflicts to include, financial issues, financial status, financial infidelity, infidelity, selfishness, Domestic violence, Domineering spirit, health challenges, emotional disturbance, sexual problems/ inadequate sexual gratification, and Alcoholism amongst others.
Taking a look at consequences inherent in marital divorce the University Don listed Depression, Anger, High Blood Pressure, and suicide as some of the challenges.
To stop the scourge of divorce in Nigeria, Prof. Adeogun admonished couples to seek knowledge about marriage before plunging into it, the means of communication should be open at all times, where couples can express their feelings openly without fear, giving attention to each other, forgetting past mistakes, improving on broken trust, attending marital counselling session as some of the panacea to marital divorce.
Guests at the event included the Ogun State Commissioner for Education, Science and Technology, Prof. Abayomi Arigbabu, the Pioneer, Vice Chancellor of the Institution, Prof. Oluwakayode Oyekanmi Oyesiku who represented the Alake of Egbaland, Oba Aremu Gbadebo, members of the Abeokuta Sports Club, family members, friends, professional colleagues to mention but few.