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When love becomes a scam: A woman’s journey through heartbreak and healing

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Sammie, a 41-year-old European lady, found herself in a vulnerable state after going through a divorce. It was during this time that she met a man named Rob, who claimed to be a 45-year-old civil engineer.

Rob reached out to her on Instagram, and as they got to know each other, they grew closer.

However, things took a turn when Rob told Sammie that his father was sick and needed money for an operation.

He claimed that his bank accounts had been frozen and that he needed her help. Sammie, wanting to help the man she had grown to care for, sent him several thousand pounds and even bought Bitcoin for him, effectively laundering the cash he sent her.

It wasn’t until later that Sammie discovered that the pictures Rob had been using were all stolen and that his identity was a fabrication. Despite this revelation, Sammie still found herself in love with the man she had grown close to, even though he was a Nigerian internet fraudster.

The question remains whether love truly is blind in this case, as Sammie’s feelings for Rob seem to have persisted even after discovering his true status.

She eventually discovered that ‘Rob’ was a 20-year-old scammer from Nigeria. And, once she knew, she still wanted to talk to this young man who had captured her heart.

He told her his real name was Smith, and they both cried over the phone, with Sammie describing him as ‘remorseful.’ He set up a new account using his own photograph and they carried on messaging.

He told her he had used the money she had given him to get out of Nigeria and that he was now living in Cyprus, where he wanted to start college. He said he had fallen for her and couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her.

Smith told her that, aside from the lies about the circumstances, when he talked to her as Rob, it was how he always felt as himself.

She said, “It was like having him back.”

After a few months, he started to ask her for money again. Sammie was angry and the relationship cooled, but a couple of weeks later he messaged her through Snapchat with a love heart — and she messaged straight back.

He didn’t open the message and hasn’t been in touch with her since.

I asked her, “If he messaged you today would you forgive him?’ She looked down, gave a small smile and said, ‘I dunno.’ Then she started crying and it was horrible to see.

Even when she knew who he was and what he did, she was still prepared to entertain the fact it was a relationship.

It’s hard to know if Smith was part of an organised gang of scammers, but it seems likely.

While South East Asia is responsible for the most romance scams, Nigeria is the second most common place of origin.

In Nigeria, I’ve heard anecdotally that the scammers term the practice ‘hunting for an old white,’ while in South East Asia, they’re known as ‘pig-butchering scams’ because the fraudsters think of it like fattening up an animal before you slaughter it.

Pig-butchering scams are a cross between romance fraud and crypto currency fraud and are often highly technologically advanced.

The best way to protect yourself is to be aware of the scripts and tricks fraudsters use to reel in victims.

Many scammers seem to use a name comprised of two first names — for example, Mark Patrick, John William, Stephen Thomas — perhaps because they aren’t familiar with Western surnames.

Scammers often use a set of common stories, such as being a widower who lost their spouse to illness or a car accident, having a cheating ex-partner, having a child in boarding school, having a sick family member, being very religious, or working in a profession like the military, medicine, or oil rigs.

As soon as you reply, he is likely to ask, ‘Are you married with kids?’ and he will express romantic feelings, even love, extremely quickly.

You’ll be the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, the sort of woman he could really have a special connection with and so on.

Next he’ll want to get you off the platform he contacted you on and onto a messaging app such as WhatsApp, Viber, Telegram, Skype or Google Chat as soon as possible.

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True Life Story

Love, lies and heartbreaks: The ups and downs of unidentified relationships

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By Suliah Lawal

Roheemah, a self-proclaimed play girl, never thought she would find someone she thought would be her forever. It took her years to finally find someone she loved, but her first experience with love didn’t end well.

She had never had a guy show her love and affection, and when she finally tried love for the first time, it didn’t work out. She was getting attached to Lolu’s love, but she didn’t know how to love him right, and he eventually got tired of her and ended things.

Life moved on quickly, and Roheemah gained admission to the university of her choice.

She forgot about Lolu too soon, but still had flashbacks of their wonderful moments together. She thought he was her first and last love, and her plan was to have fun and not get attached to anyone.

However, when she met Oluwadamilare (Dami) while helping a friend campaign for a post, she didn’t know that karma would catch up with her.

They started talking, met each other, and she was drawn to his innocent and calm nature. He helped change her perspective on love, and her friends supported their relationship, wanting her to settle down with someone.

At first, Roheemah didn’t love Dami, but she was hoping to love him someday. She left her old life behind and started a new one with him. He took her on her first date, loved her, and showed her he was into her.

He introduced her to his family and friends, and she thought he was different. However, she soon discovered that he lied about little things, and their relationship was built on a foundation of lies.

She was hurt and wanted to end things, but he wasn’t ready to give up on her. After much begging, they went back to each other and promised not to lie to each other again.

Their relationship continued, and Roheemah tried her best to love Dami and not make mistakes. She sought advice from people on how to get him to love her and was willing to do things for him because he was different.

Far and near, their love was still intact, and she only told her close friends about her relationship when she knew he was actually into her.

Finally, she started loving him after months of being together, and that’s when guys started chasing her even more. She stuck to Dami and used others as a cruise, but their relationship wasn’t perfect because she wasn’t used to many things he thought were normal.

She didn’t notice that her soulmate was gradually detaching from her, and when she found out, she was already deeply in love with him.

They fought constantly, which she thought helped her love for him grow, but he lost his love for her. When she found out he was annoyed, she became restless, and she thought they were going places together.

Suddenly, she started noticing weird chats on his phone, and he would apologise and move on. She felt like their relationship was about fighting, settling, and getting back together.

She didn’t give up on him, but he did, and she was left heartbroken once again.

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True Life Story

My unsettling encounter with a Yahoo+ guy

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In November 2020, I had a chilling experience at a bar in Alimosho, Lagos. I had stopped by for a drink and snack after meditating at home.

When I tried to pay, the waitress informed me that someone had already covered my bill. Assuming it was a prank or a kind stranger, I called my friends to join me.

When they arrived, I asked the waitress again if I needed to pay, and she confirmed that my bill was taken care of.

Curious, I asked to meet the person who had paid for me. The waitress pointed to a slim guy sitting with four girls in the corner.

As I approached him, he stood up and greeted me with a bow. To my surprise, it was Ahmed, a former junior student of mine from secondary school.

I was happy to see him doing well, but our conversation took a dark turn. He revealed that his wealth came from questionable sources and warned me not to pray for anyone’s kind of money if the source wasn’t clear.

He shared his story, telling me that he had made a ritual sacrifice to help his parents but was now bound by strict rules. He couldn’t help his family or stay in one place for too long, and his life was marked by a series of twisted sacrifices.

I was trembling with fear as he spoke, and his words left me unsettled. He offered me money, but I declined, sensing something was off.

He refused to give me his contact information, citing his need to constantly move and find new victims for his rituals.

Before parting ways, he made me promise not to reveal his secrets to his parents, fearing it would harm their mental health.

Our encounter left me shaken, and I couldn’t shake off the feeling of unease. I realised that the allure of quick wealth and power can lead people down dangerous paths, and I was grateful to have escaped the situation unscathed.

Ahmed’s story served as a warning, reminding me to be cautious and mindful of the company I keep.

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True Life Story

A Pastor’s story of redemption: How infidelity unveiled hidden truths and restored harmony

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In a community in Ogun State, a Pastor named Adeyemi and his banker wife embarked on a journey fraught with challenges, yet fueled by love and redemption.

As the dawn broke each day, Adeyemi’s wife, dedicated to her banking career, would immerse herself in work, leaving behind a trail of neglect in her household duties and marital intimacy.

Despite the Pastor’s pleas for affection, his wife remained steadfast in her distance, citing the demands of her profession.

In their midst stood a young house help, a silent witness to their domestic turmoil.

In a moment of vulnerability, Adeyemi confided in her, revealing the void in his marriage. Moved by empathy, the house help offered solace, igniting a clandestine affair.

One fateful day, fate intervened as Adeyemi’s wife returned home unexpectedly, stumbling upon the clandestine rendezvous.

Shocked and aggrieved, she swiftly dismissed the house help, confronting her husband with betrayal writ large.

In the aftermath of this revelation, a reckoning ensued. Stripped bare of pretense, husband and wife confronted their demons, laying bare the fractures in their union.

In an exchange, forgiveness blossomed, as each acknowledged their role in the unraveling of their marriage.

From the ashes of deceit arose a newfound commitment, as husband and wife embarked on a journey of reconciliation.

With humility and grace, they nurtured their bond, fostering a home filled with love, understanding, and mutual respect.

Their story, shrouded in secrecy, emphasised the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of forgiveness.

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