Is it a crime to be female?
By Abimbola Abatta
When I was in the university, I was ‘fortunate’ to have evaded the prying eyes of married men whose sense of morality is lost and sold to the devil. Even as a young graduate, the experience of being ‘asked out’ by married men seemed farfetched to me. I would always lambast men whose greed and lust for women, especially young ladies, cannot be quenched.
My eyes have seen and heard horrible tales of men whose third legs navigate every corner without remorse or shame. What beggars comprehension is how overprotective of their daughters these monsters in men’s clothing are. Once they have cool cash and cars, and you go to them for a favour, they assume the role of a lord.
From sex-for-grade, sex-for-employment opportunities to sex-for-promotion, this menace of unsolicited sexual advances in exchange for favours is becoming more rampant.
‘Every favour must be repaid’ is their mantra. I often ask myself, where did we go wrong? Is it a crime to be a lady? Can’t we go about our business, pursuing our purpose in life without fear of being gripped by the unabashed advances from so-called big men?
Then in school, many female students were terrorised by inhumane male lecturers whose eyes must see and undress ladies. We all heard of sex for mark in our schools today. It’s quite an eyesore. These men will stop at nothing to mess up with lives while their daughters are shielded as a mother hen would protect its chicks.
I remember the story of a professor who after sleeping with a hundred level student, paid her to abort the pregnancy. Unfortunately, somehow, the foetus was discovered in the hostel’s dump area. The news was all over the school then. If my memory serves me well, I think the professor was sent away then.
How about another lecturer who was allegedly suspended as a result of women-matters. From a lecturer, he became a commissioner of female students’ affairs on campus.
Men should learn to respect a lady’s No. On this matter, her no means no. Accept it, and get off her back. Stop chasing her like a wall gecko pursues flies. Respect her wishes. Even if your religious affiliations permit you to marry more than one wife, do not do so when a lady is at your mercy or in need of your help. And when she refuses, do not deny her promotion, employment, or admission.
How I wish there would be a portion of the law that addresses the issue of privacy and respect. Any man who disrespects a lady should be punished. Many men are predators. They see women as objects of sexual gratification. Although some ladies enjoy the attention, and they even encourage it, but I know that many ladies loathe being treated as such.
So, I ask again, is it a crime to be a lady? As a lady, getting job opportunities, favours, help, promotion, admission, good grades, etc. pose a great dilemma when a man is in the position to make these things possible.
Every SHE matters. We all matter. We are not to be treated like filth. We are also men in women’s clothing. Our feminity is not a yes to your advances. There is no crime in admiring a woman’s beauty; there is beauty in our feminity after all. However, do not “loose guard” as a man.
Our world would be a better place if we help one another out of pure love for humanity. Don’t extend a hand of help because of what you stand to gain. It is wrong. If your mantra is trade-by-barter favour, keep your favour to yourself.
Since it is not a crime to be a female, it is expedient that we all join hands to arrest this issue. We must not relent in speaking against sex-for-favours in every facet of the society until it is checkmated.
