Curtailing violence against women in society

It is a shame that in 21st century, Nigeria, a democratic and secular state, that prides itself “on paper” to promote human rights, freedom of speech and expression, and human sanctity, some powerful forces or some men connected to power still use their influence to threaten, ruin and destroy the lives of other folks that do not agree with them, share their political or religious views, or any folk that seemingly to them have crossed their path.

Powerful individuals, extremist religious groups, and conservative religious leaders continue to threaten and intimidate women who promote women’s right. These women have chosen to participate in public life as journalists, activists (especially those advocating for what most conservative Nigerians classify as“taboo” in Nigeria—things like LGBTQ rights, transparency in governance and anti-child marriage advocates), potential candidates, aid workers, teachers, donors, and even women that just want to be able to make decisions for themselves. Women whose behavior challenged social expectations and traditional roles also faced harassment.

In other cases, factional leaders of some religious groups or some extremist religious groups have attacked the offices of some women’s development projects, such as those providing health, literacy and rights awareness programs (especially Lesbian, Gay, Transgender and Queer (LGBTQ) rights). Such symbolic tracks sent a clear message that women and girls seeking to claim the most basic rights could face retaliation.

Continuous violent attacks and threats against women in the public sphere have also created an environment of fear and caution. Most women’s rights activists and journalists carefully word their statements or avoid publishing on some topics because they are afraid of violent consequences.

These attacks and threats to life are not just isolated to extremist religious groups and conservative religious leaders, but also some powerful men that have had issues with women especially relationship issues have chosen to make the lives of these unfortunate women miserable, and in extreme cases kill them. And since most of these men are so powerful and influential, the cases are not investigated by law enforcement agencies. Proper actions are not taken to protect these women, and the cases are often than not swept under the carpet.

These women live in fear. They are traumatized and some are constantly on the run. Threatening phone calls, letters, emotional and psychological blackmail are being followed at night by unknown men. These forces are attempting to scare women into silence and in some cases get back at them violently.

A typical example of this alarming situation in the country is a story of a young woman currently in hiding because of constant harassment, being stalked and several threats to life. This is but one of several incidences captured.

Let’s call the woman Miss Grace, to protect her identity. Miss Grace was in a relationship with a certain man, let’s call him Mr X. Mr X happens to be a powerful businessman and politician in Uyo, Akwa Ibom State, Nigeria, the city Miss Grace and Mr X both lived. The relationship grew to them being engaged to each other, but sometime in 2009, Miss Grace broke the engagement, voting personal reasons. This broken engagement did not go down well with Mr X and he vowed to destroy Miss Grace and exterminate her.

From the moment on, Miss Grace has been harassed, attacked and threatened on several occasions.

On a particular occasion, as relayed by Miss Grace, someone called her on her mobile phone saying: “You think you can embarrass someone after so much investment, and walk free? We will kill you. We know you are staying at (name witheld). We will kill you; we will kill you as an example to other women.”

According to Miss Grace, she knew they were watching her because as he answered the phone, they said “you are opening your door, you are wearing these clothes and you just turned your head.” It was so scary. She was very scared. She stopped going around as much as she used to.

Several other threats came from different strange phone numbers, as calls and text messages. The threats were reported to the police, but Miss Grace had no respite as little could be done by the police to stop the threats or make her feel safe.

Because of constant threats to Miss Grace, Miss Grace’s brother confronted Mr X on his alleged harassment of his sister. A week later, Miss Grace’s brother was found dead in his apartment. Miss Grace’s family suspected foul play, but as there were no evidence pointing to the threat from Mr X, the family had to move on.

For the safety of her life, Miss Grace secretly relocated from Uyo, Akwa Ibom State to Abuja, FCT. She changed her mobile numbers and laid low as much she could. She was able to live in Abuja safe from 2009 to 2012.

By January 2011, Miss Grace started receiving threat messages and phone calls again. From the calls and messages, it was obvious that whoever was sending the messages knew where she was living and was still bent on hurting her. She reported the threats to the police in Abuja but the culprit was not still caught. On one  occasion, Miss Grace related that she got a text message describing her car, where it was parked and that a bomb had been planted on the car. Miss Grace was so scared. It took some hours for the nearby security operatives to check the car and assured her that there was no bomb fixed on the car.

One day in March 2011, Miss Grace came back from work only to see her house door wide open. Her house was turned upside down and on further probing, some of her valuables and important credentials were already carted away. Also, there was a bold marking on her wall with the inscription “your life next.” She immediately ran to the local police station at Mpape, Abuja to make a formal police report. The Police advised her that she should move from that part of the town if possible. She moved to Karu, Abuja. She was able to stay undetected in Karu until early 2012, where the threat messages started coming again.

Mid-2012, Miss Grace relocated to some other city. This time she decided to move to Ibadan, Oyo state, Nigeria. This move seemed to have worked, as Miss Grace lived in Ibadan from 2012 to early 2020 without any incident. However in mid-2020, the threats started coming again.

On November 27th, 2020, Miss Grace was accosted by hoodlums possessing knives as she slowed down to turn into her street on her way back from work. Luckily, they were lots of pedestrians around the street, and fortunately, the hoodlums were chased away. Miss Grace has reported being followed severally at night as she navigates home from work and even had a scary experience where a car tried to ramp her into a ditch on Dugbe-Apata road in Ibadan.

She recently had her picture posted by an alleged pseudo facebook account by name ‘Mary Udeji’ with the caption #RIP (Rest in Peace). She is currently in hiding and is seeking protective custody from the Nigerian Police, and has also petitioned the DSS (Directorate of State Service) as she longer feels safe.

This is just one of several stories happening in our country. We need Government and all the relevant authorities to stand up and tackle these anomalies, strengthen our law enforcement so that they can work better in protecting the lives of all Nigerians as this is one of the major responsibility of the government, and most especially, protect the weak and vulnerable in our society.

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