I’m jealous my husband loves my bastard daughter
By Bukola Olanrewaju
Even though we grow up in this part of the world (Africa) where parents, most especially mothers have to love their children without reserve, I am a mother of three but am jealous of my daughter who happens to be a bastard that enjoys more love and care from my naive husband than his own biological children (even though he doesn’t know the girl isn’t his).
Benita (not the real name) by name met Kingsley (not the real name) in 2001 while writing WAEC.
They were both in love and aspiring to become husband and wife after completing University education.
According to Benita, “He was everything a woman would ask for; he is fair, handsome, intelligent and God fearing, he loved me so much, he shared the little he had with me, he was willing to do anything I ask for though he didn’t have much because he was still in 200 level.
“He did everything possible for me to gain admission into the university. I eventually gained admission in 2003.
“I don’t know what came over me. I had a fling with this guy named Habeeb (not the real name). Though I never loved him, but I became pregnant for him. I didn’t know what to do, but terminating the pregnancy was not an option. I didn’t want to lose Kingsley. It was as if my world has crumbled.
“I didn’t tell anybody not even my best friend because I never could tell what would happen if I did.
“I made a smart move by telling Kingsley that I was pregnant for him. “Of course, he believed me because he trusted me so much but I betrayed his love for me. He came to see my people, though my parents are dead.
“I eventually put to bed; a baby girl. This was in 2008. Do you know what? my baby was exactly the carbon copy of Habeeb; the guy I had a fling with?
“I was not surprised because I knew the pregnancy wasn’t Kingsley’s but I thought the baby would’ve resembled me. Of course, I was wrong.”
She narrated that Kingsley accepted her and bastard daughter, knowing full well the baby does not look like him
“Ever since, I have been dying in silence,” she said.
She said, “My conscience kept killing me. At a point, I hated my own child seeing a picture of another man in her.
“My husband, Kingsley loved her so much more than anything. “In 2010, I had another baby boy for my husband. My joy knew no bounds. I was really happy, my husband was happy as well.”
According to her, “In 2012, I had another baby boy for my husband, Kingsley. Even at that, he loved my daughter more than his two biological sons. At a point, I became jealous but what can I do. I just couldn’t bear it anymore so I decided to give my life to Christ and beg God for forgiveness which I know he has done.
“This I did because I couldn’t continue to die in silence. It was now for me to confess to my husband but how would I achieve that without breaking my home? I didn’t want to lose my home; I loved my husband and my kids.
“He is a wonderful man but I betrayed him. I prayed and asked God to give me the strength to confess to him.
“On a set day, I first called him on phone to ask him if he would ever forgive me. He asked what I meant by that. He asked if I was alright and I said yes. He hanged up on me. I cried like a baby. When he came back from work that same day,
“I served him his dinner. After that, I went with him in the room and told him to forgive me that he should not punish our daughter for what she does not know about but punish me. He asked again what I meant by that. I narrated everything that transpired between Habeeb and I.
“To my greatest surprise, he dropped a bombshell. He said he knew all these years that he was not the biological father of our 4-year old daughter. I asked him if he knew about it and didn’t bother to ask me? He said that he knew that someday I was going to tell him but he never knew it would come this soon.
“It was as if the ground should open and swallow me. I was so ashamed of myself that I bowed my face in tears but he cuddled me and said he’d forgiven me long ago. He said that we pray every day OUR FATHER FORGIVE US OUR SINS AS WE FORGIVE THOSE THAT TRESPASS AGAINST US, why won’t he forgive me? He said no one is perfect and that we make mistakes in life. He said that I was a nice person and that we have been through a lot in life.
“So, he cannot abandon me now that I needed him most. He told me that he could possibly throw me out so that people will laugh at me but he has always loved me.
“As for my daughter, as far as he is concerned, she is his daughter. He has always seen her as one and that he will always love us. These were his words.
“I was short of words, all I could do was to cry and thank him and thank God for the kind of man he has given me because I know that no man would take that from any woman no matter what except by the special Grace of God.
“I am now a happy person and I have given my life to Jesus Christ. We must learn how to confess our sins no matter what so that Satan will be put to shame and as well learn how to forgive. We now live in the UK. I also had my two boys in the UK.”